Of Magic and Impotence

A woman knocks on a wooden door.  When no one answers, she turns the knob and enters the empty house while looking over her shoulder.  She heads for the mattress and places a dirty needle in it.  Then, she leaves as quietly as she came with a smirk on her face.  Unlike the Three Bears, the owners of the house return to no Goldilocks.  Instead, the newly married couple are unable to consummate their marriage; the man cannot get it up.  For several months they try to have sex with more and more frustrating attempts.  They hadn’t hoped for a fairy tale love, but they did hope for contentment and children.  The man is fairly young and could get it up before he married.  Each started eyeing other lovers.  Their unhappiness began to show every time they went out in public.  At the local tavern, in the market, every one knew.  The husband’s wandering eye lands on a shop girl, but he is worried he’ll have the same problem.  He risks it and finds out he is not impotent all the time.  After months of disappointing tries, the couple fear an ex-lover turned witch caste a spell on their marriage. 
     

Roped Penis from Ms 25526, National Library of France.  Marginal illustration of The Romance of the Rose.

     Since they live in the middle ages when the Catholic Church ruled Europe, they were not allowed to get a divorce at least not until three years of marriage.  One solution was to go directly to the source and find out what kind of magic the witch used.  There were all kinds of impotence magic ranging from placing a heart wrapped in a bull's testicle under the bed, placing the halves of a acorn on opposite sides of the road and having the lovers walk past, to enchanting a lock and key and throwing them down separate wells.  All of these examples could be reversed by removing the objects from the bedroom (besides wouldn't a heart wrapped in a testicle begin to smell?), putting the acorn back together, and retrieving the lock and key from the wells.  A good rule of thumb was to attempt sex in another bed and see if it worked, then the couple could just find whatever was in their bedroom and remove it.  Sometimes magical impotence was harder to cure because the witch could die and leave no clue as to how she (all but one case of impotence magic derives from a female, usually a very jealous lover) caste the spell. 
     All these salacious stories dealing with medieval impotence magic are collected in Magic and Impotence in the Middle Ages by Catherine Rider.  In this book, she argues for the importance of impotence magic during the middle ages and how it was mainly related to marriage laws.  She uses various sources from pastoral sermons and guide books to law documents, commentaries, religious texts, theological debates, magic books, and medical texts.  All the records of impotence magic debate whether or not the couple could divorce.  Many thought the magic was temporary so the couple should stay together, but sometimes the couple never could shake the evil magic from their marriage.  But if the impotence was permanent, they further debated if the couple could remarry after a divorce.  Some said the cursed man could remarry but not the woman.  It's all very murky when trying to nail down laws about magical impotence (it's usually not just regular medical impotence).  These records and debates show impotence magic was common enough that laws needed to be made to deal with the problems it brought up. 
     Law makers and theologians were not the only ones who discussed impotence magic.  Learned books on magic talked about the ways it happened and how to cure it.  Even medical writers mentioned impotence magic as a last resort in trying to cure impotence, so the belief in magic was widespread during the middle ages as evidenced by the witch burnings during the Inquisition.

Phallus Presentation from Ms 25526, National Library of France.  Marginal illustration of The Romance of the Rose.

     Returning to the first couple.  Once they suspected witchcraft they searched the bedroom for the bewitched object, but never found the needle.  They did attempt sex outside of their bed and were able to finally enjoy themselves.  They searched the man’s past lovers to see if they could break the spell, but they never flushed out the witch.  
     Years later their daughter prepares to marry a man she does not know.  All the fear and worry is on her face.  She only knows him through his cheater reputation.  While she dresses for the small ceremony, her grandmother slips into the room.  The old woman has a reputation for being wise but a little eccentric.  There are quiet rumors she is a witch.  The old lady gives the girl a look of love tinged with worry and understanding.  Her expression quickly changes to business.  
     “Now deary,” said the old woman, “ I know you are worried about this marriage, especially his cheating heart.  Most people would tell you to turn a blind eye to his bad behavior, but not me.  I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve for you.”  
     And as she said “sleeve” she pulled a piece of paper out of her’s.  It had ingredients and rhyming words on it.  The note nor the grandmother said what the spell would do, but the girl knew it was something to do with cheating men.  The girl was fearful of magic because the law would prosecute practitioners by burning them, the church forbad it, and it was a dangerous power (rumors spread about spoiled spells killing people and the consequences of choosing magic to solve problems).  But she didn’t throw the paper away.  She stored it for years until she almost forgot about it.  
     She married the man and for a while they were fairly happy.  As long as she did what he said, they were content.  Until one night he did not come home.  She imagined him dead in a ditch and her having to live with her parents again or even worse his parents. He came home the next afternoon like nothing happened.  After that, their contentment dwindled and he didn’t come home many nights. This pattern continued for a while until the girl could not take it anymore.  She fought and screamed, but that only drove him farther away into other’s arms.  At least that is what the other townspeople said, but they forgot he was a cheater before he married.  
     She finally came to a breaking point so she pulled out the lining in her plain jewelry box and there sat the spell.  One of the many nights he did not return home, she bought the ingredients and said the words not knowing what it would do.  He came back very grumpy the next day.  The bad mood continued for weeks and he started staying home more.  After months of frustration he finally discovered he could only have sex with his wife.  He was furious at his wife for a while and blamed her for his problems, but he never found any proof so they lived happily ever after.  Sort of. 

Witch's Sabbath by Parmigianino in 1530. 

                                                     
All the accounts of impotence are rooted in a jealous woman’s attempts at revenge.  All these accounts came from the mouths of men fearful of independent women and of the mysterious magic that kept them from enjoying themselves.  The problem with believing in magic and miracles is often those explanations hide the real physical problem behind them.  

Lessons from history:
1. Never anger a witch.
2. Be faithful or you just might lose a body part.
3. Keep your jealousy in check or you might get burned at the stake. 
4. Be open to other explanations.